How to become a bdsm lover

If you’ve ever fantasized about being tied up, spanked, or even dominated by someone else, you’re not alone. BDSM is a type of sexual play that involves binding and restraining a partner for pleasure. It’s also known as kinky sex; however, most people who engage in BDSM do so because it’s pleasurable and not because they’re kinky by nature. In fact, plenty of people who are into this kind of play don’t even consider themselves “kinky” at all—they simply like getting tied up every now and again! While many think that BDSM relationships can only exist between two people (or more). I’m here to tell you: no matter how you identify (whether it be as straight or gay), there are ways to make your fantasies come true without harming yourself or others

Decide what you want.

To be a bdsm lover, you have to decide what you want.

It’s important that both partners are clear about their expectations and desires. This can be difficult if you’ve never been in an emotionally intimate relationship before, but it’s crucial for the success of your future partnership.

There are many different reasons why someone might want to explore bdsm on online bdsm community as a lifestyle choice: some people enjoy the power exchange aspect; others enjoy the sensation play aspect; still more enjoy both equally and want a partner who feels similarly about them (or doesn’t mind). Whatever your motivation may be–and even if it changes over time–it’s important that it aligns with that of your partner(s).

Know your limits.

If you’re new to the scene, it’s important to know your limits. If a partner is pushing your boundaries, it’s okay to say no or stop. Communication is key!

If you’re not sure where your limits lie, ask yourself:

  • Am I uncomfortable? If so, why? Is this situation making me feel threatened or unsafe? What would make me more comfortable in this situation (e.g., being naked vs clothed)?
  • What do I want out of this experience/relationship/activity with my partner(s)? Do our desires align with each other’s expectations for how things will go down between us sexually/romantically/emotionally when we meet up again next week? If not enough time has passed between now and then for us both fully understand what our needs are yet alone express them clearly without feeling awkward about it then maybe wait until later before scheduling another date together again; otherwise risk wasting each other’s time because neither party knows exactly what they want from one another yet.”

Communicate clearly.

One of the most important things you can do is communicate clearly. This means being able to articulate what you want and don’t want, as well as your limits. It also means being able to explain why something is happening or not happening in a scene.

If, for example, someone asks if they can hit you with their hand during sex and it makes you uncomfortable (even though they’re doing so gently), let them know that before they try again. Don’t just say “no”–say why! If part of the reason is because it feels too much like hitting rather than caressing or touch, tell them what kind of touch would be more acceptable instead (if any).

Stay safe.

You should always be safe when you’re exploring your kinks. This means taking care of yourself, knowing the risks involved and using common sense.

  • Stay aware of your surroundings. If you’re going to a play party or dungeon, make sure it’s well-lit and clean (and if it’s not, don’t go).
  • Trust your instincts–if something doesn’t feel right for you, don’t do it!

Don’t be afraid to say no.

  • Don’t be afraid to say no. If you’re not into something, don’t do it. If you’re not comfortable with something and someone tries to pressure you into doing it anyway, say no!
  • Know that saying “no” isn’t a bad thing; it’s part of being an adult and having agency over your own body and life choices. It can also help maintain trust between partners because each person knows where they stand with the other person–there are no surprises or secrets lurking in the shadows waiting to cause problems later on down the road when things get complicated or emotions run high (which is bound to happen at some point).

It’s possible to have a fulfilling bdsm relationship, as long as you’re willing to put in the effort!

BDSM is a lifestyle, not just a sexual activity. It’s about more than pain and submission; it’s also about love, trust and exploring your sexuality. If you’re interested in BDSM but don’t know where to start, here are some tips on how to get started with a fulfilling bdsm relationship:

  • Set boundaries – this is one of the most important things when it comes to any relationship but especially so for those involved with BDSM! Make sure that both parties are clear about what they want from each other before getting involved with anything too serious because once those lines have been crossed it can be hard (if not impossible) for them ever again!
  • Be honest – another thing that helps keep things running smoothly during these types of situations would probably be honesty between partners regarding their feelings towards each other as well as what exactly goes down behind closed doors after hours… From personal experience I’ve found myself lying more often than not when trying something new out like teasing someone else while still maintaining eye contact which led me down paths where I didn’t feel comfortable going yet still kept doing anyways because I felt obligated somehow…


I hope you’ve enjoyed this guide to becoming a bdsm lover. As I’ve said before, it’s not easy and you’ll need to work hard at it, but if it’s something that really appeals then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to succeed!